Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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