just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
