hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
