Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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