So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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