Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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