Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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