You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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