I swear she didn't look like that last week.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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