a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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