those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
