Me too!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
