at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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