i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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