hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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