actually, I'm a sock model
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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