I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize