Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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