yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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