it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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