i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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