Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
