I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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