I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
