look no pants
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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