Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hate all girls vehemently.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize