I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
