His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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