Define "chronic" masturbator.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
