Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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