Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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