Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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