Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
this hospital has no fireball
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
