it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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