I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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