to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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