Who wears a wallet chain?!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
