She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
jump out the window naked night went bad
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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