There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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