Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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