I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
