You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
