If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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