I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
