OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
