In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
