Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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