I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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