i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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