I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize