I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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