Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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