I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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