Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
