You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
its not stalking. its research.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Randomize
