For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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