just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
