Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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