i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
