Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she looked like the before picture.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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