Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
